Missing Mom

April 5th 2011 was another day that changed my life forever.  A day shy of the month anniversary of my daughter Katies death.  This was the day I guess Katie felt she needed her Nan.  This is the day that I lost my mom, my children lost their Nan.  I know I am not the only one in my family that suffered a loss that day.  My younger half sister lost her mother that day as well and my nephews and niece suffered a loss that day too.

That day will always be imbedded in my mind.  I am not sure what i would have done if it had not been for my moms dear friend M and my cousin.  Without them I am sure that myself and my youngest would have been in worse shape than we were.  My son and his aunt (my halfsister) were on their way to the island and were almost there when mom left us. Myself, my cousin,  moms best friend, and my youngest were with her when she quietly left us.

The next few days are a blur.  I don't think I have truly broken down mind you I do have my moments especially watching a sappy movie about mothers etc. Even now I am typing this through tears.  I miss her so much.  I feel such an emptiness in my heart without her.  Up until recently I felt that I was silly for missing my mom so much at my age.  But I had a conversation with a friend of mine who lost her mom quite a few years ago.  And she feels the same way as I do and misses her mom more and more every day.  

Sitting here typing this a memory came back to me and made me smile and laugh.  Katie was home with me so we went over to PEI to see my Mom.  We went shopping and I think it was Kmart that was closing then I am not sure.  Katie was about 15 so my son was about 8 and well my youngest was about 2.  So the kids were hungry so went to the lunch counter in the store to have lunch.  There was a man sitting behind us and seen all of us sitting there and of course the younger ones were acting up a bit and big sister Katie was the mediator between the 2 younger ones.  This man looked at us and said to Mom "Wow your daughter sure has her hands full with the little one"  Mom looked at him and I looked at him funny, I said as I pointed to Katie "the little one isn't hers she is mine and she is my oldest" and the boy is my middle one.   so then he looks at mom and says wow your nieces and nephew are nice looking kids.  At the time I was appalled that this fella thought mom and i were sisters.........The look on his face when I told him that she wasn't my sister she was my mother and that these were her grandchildren.   The look was priceless.  My mother then said " I know i don't look old enough to have grandchildren".  then she preceeded to flirt with this fella.  I look back now and laugh at this, cause that is the way mom was.  She didn't like to admit that she had a daughter that was only 18 yrs youngers than her....lol.  

I remember the day that I told Mom and Dad both that i was pregnant for my oldest.  At the time my mom had just had my sister in February 1977 and here I was in June of 1979 showing up very pregnant.  Mom flipped "I am too young to be a grandmother" .  Well when Katie was born 3months later mom was very happy.  So I made my mother a grandmother when she was 39.  So fast forward to 1995.  I had just made mom a grandmother for the 3rd in 1993 and she was quite content.    I proceeded to tell my mother that in March of 96 she would be a great grandmother.  Well I didnt need the phone that day as I swear I could hear her cry all the way from PEI to NS....Hahaha.  
It seemed after the birth of her first great grandchild she embraced being a great grandmother after all she was only turning 55.  After that when people asked her age she would proudly tell them and then proceed to tell them that she had 3 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.  Then in 2000 my half sister had her first and then she had 3 more.  So mom now had 7 grandchildren and a great grandchild. People didn't believe her.  then when my grandson was born she bragged even more.  Friends of hers had a hard time believing that she was as old as she was.  But in reality she wasn't that old well to me she wasn't.  Mom was turning 69 when her 2nd great grandchild was born.  Mom always made me smile and chuckle when she would say to me that she had been to the hairdresser and had to have grey highlights put in her hair....lol.  
I miss her so much.  Her laugh and watching her dance...she had no rhythm but man she loved to dance. But most of all I just miss her!  RIP Mom and continue to watch over us your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren , keep us safe.  Love you and miss you!!!